


How You Get The Girl

by dancefantasy



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Gay Panic, Kissing, M/M, No Homo, Unrequited Love, since assassin's creed seems to go along with the belief da vinci was not straight tm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:27:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29181756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancefantasy/pseuds/dancefantasy
Summary: Ezio shows Leonardo how to win a girl's heart.
Relationships: Ezio Auditore da Firenze/Leonardo da Vinci
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	How You Get The Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if this isn't an original idea ¯\\_ (ツ)_/¯

Whenever Ezio needed Leonardo da Vinci to work on his gear or translate part of the Codex, he found himself with plenty of time to think while he waited. There were always lots of things on Ezio's mind, but he often eventually began thinking about the artist whose company he was in. It was hard not to while surrounded by all his work, and Leonardo _was_ an interesting man to think about. The two got along like best friends, but in some ways, they couldn't be more dissimilar. It made Ezio wonder.

"Say, Leonardo. How come you never have any women around? Surely it must get boring in your workshop all day," he asked the inventor.

"I keep myself entertained," Leonardo assured the assassin. "Besides, I don't think I am the kind of man that women want," he nearly laughed, hoping Ezio wouldn't figure out what he was really trying to say. Thankfully, Ezio seemed to be quite dense when it came to Leonardo's more personal feelings.

"Nonsense, Leo! You are amazing! Besides, any man can get a girl if he knows what he is doing. Here, let me teach you."

As Ezio rose from his seat and made his way towards the inventor, Leonardo tried not to worry about what Ezio might try to do. "No, I don't need to be taught anything! Let me just put the finishing touches on your blade here; it just needs one more screw--"

"No no no!" Ezio refused, and Leonardo felt helpless to comply. "No friend of mine can go without knowing how to win a lady's heart. So, let me show you right here. It's best to learn by example. First, you find the woman you like and first offer her a compliment. Like this." Ezio's demeanor changed into more of a character as he took Leonardo's hand and put on a confident smile. "Madama Leona, your eyes are brighter than the sun in San Gimignano."

"Really?" Leonardo asked before quickly remembering that Ezio was not genuinely paying him a compliment. "I mean, I assume that is what the woman would say."

"Exactly!" Ezio praised. "So many women can be won over with just a few compliments. As long as their fathers aren't watching," he slyly noted. "Then, once you have her interest, you can easily whisk her away to a quiet corner to make your next move."

" _Bene_! Good talk!" Leonardo replied, hoping to end things with a brotherly pat on Ezio's arm. He quickly turned back towards the table to continue upgrading the weapon, but Ezio clearly wasn't finished with his lesson.

"Wait, Leonardo!" he laughed. "It's not that simple. Once you're there, you have to do something that will make her never forget you. And then she will always be yours."

Leonardo cringed. "But do I want her to be?"

"Obviously, _mio amico!_ That is the whole point! So, take her close--" Ezio put his hand on Leonardo's waist and pulled him so close that their bodies were touching. "--and sweep her off her feet."

Before Leonardo could even process that last part, Ezio had dipped him down low, almost completely supported by his strong arms. Their faces felt even closer than they had just before, and Leonardo was painfully aware of it. He held his breath as if taking one would steal the air away from Ezio. He didn't dare to move a muscle.

Ezio still had that smile on his face as if he was the greatest man in the world, so proud of his successful conquests of girls in the city. And Leonardo supposed he indeed _was_ the greatest man in some ways. He was more beautiful than any painting the artist could ever hope to create, not to mention dashing, brave, and surprisingly kind. Leonardo had fallen down a helpless hole of infatuation with him. The current ironic situation was teasing him and only making things more difficult.

Because it had led to this moment, Leonardo wanted to curse Ezio's mother for ever introducing them, but the poor woman didn't deserve that. So, Leonardo cursed himself instead for having grown these feelings for the suave assassin. Little did he know that Ezio was about to make it even worse.

"Of course," Ezio said softly, "once you're holding a woman, you must kiss her. So, do it like this."

Before Leonardo could scream in gay panic, Ezio provided his demonstration. But his "student" was not thinking about how he could replicate the act on a nice girl. He was too busy feeling his soul leave his body at the realization that the one and only Ezio Auditore da Firenze, his friend, his crush, his muse, was placing a romantic kiss on his lips. There was something terribly wrong about it in every societal sense, but Leonardo also felt like this was the peak of his entire existence. Unfortunately, the peak of his existence didn't last very long.

Ezio brought Leonardo back to his feet as the kiss came to a close. "And that is how you get the girl. Trust me; I've done it hundreds of times," he finished with a smirk.

Well, those words were certainly a miserable reminder for Leonardo that such an intimate moment would never be shared between them again. He pushed himself away from Ezio and quickly offered the hidden blade. "Here. I'm done working on it," he said, refusing to acknowledge Ezio's attempt at teaching. He would prefer that his friend leave as soon as possible so he could weep his miseries away in private.

As if nothing strange had happened, Ezio accepted the weapon gratefully. "Ah, _magnifico_! I must go try it right away! Thank you so much, Leonardo. _A presto_! Good luck with women! I have faith in you!" And with that, he was off again to go kill more Templars.

Leonardo sank onto the table and sighed. " _Cristo_... I think I'd like to pass away now," he muttered to himself. How Ezio could do such a thing with no feeling was beyond him. It certainly hadn't helped to abate his feelings for the roguish man.

Well, Leonardo would just stuff those feelings back down where he normally hid them and dearly hope that Ezio didn't have any other such things he wanted to teach. Because it certainly hadn't made Leonardo want to try stealing a woman's heart; it just made him long even harder for the assassin's affection. He'd be thinking about that for a long time...


End file.
